No more body shame!

​I've been thinking about writing this post for some time. You see I turned 40 this year and it's been a milestone for me. I've been on a personal journey coming to terms with my age and my body and  I'd like to share it with you

Six months before the big day, I was like '40? Cool. I'm going to be fabulous by 40. Plenty of time on my side - I'm going to loose two stone and look like I did when I was 20. Yay!'

Three months before it was 'Okay, don't panic. There's still time. I'll start running, download an exercise app. I'll look great when I'm slimmer...'

One month before I was thinking 'Come on you can do it. Those people on Island survival with Bear Grylls lost loads of weight in four weeks. Just don't eat Sarah, simple'

On the day of my birthday my thoughts were 'You're crap. All that time you had to loose weight, how stupid. Just find something to cover yourself and get pissed. That'll have to do.' So I did... it was messy...

Does this sound familiar to you? I hope not. Loathing your body is rubbish. It's consuming. It takes effort and too much time. However, recent surveys show that 91% of women are not happy with the way they look. That's most of us!

Now people assume that because my husband runs a sex shop (Sorry Martin, Boutique of Love) that I must one hot Mama at all times. The truth is I know I can be, but mostly I am

• Yummy Mummy to three boys, (so cleaner, cook, nurse, mediator, P.A, teacher, counsellor, entertainer, taxi driver)
• Devoted wife (friend, lover, cleaner, cook, nurse, P.A, counsellor, entertainer)
• The perfect daughter to ageing parents (P.A, teacher, counsellor)
• Employee of the month (Troubleshooter, P.A, cleaner)
• Supportive friend/sister (comedienne, counsellor, entertainer)

Doesn't leave much time fore me does it? Certainly not enough to go running, swimming, weight training, count calories and style myself every morning!

So what to do? Well I know I can't keep hating my wobbly tummy and I know it's unlikely to go any time soon, which leaves just one option. Love myself instead.

'Gaaah!!!!' says the voice in my head 'That's impossible!!!!' and in a sense it's right. I've become used to loathing myself, it's taken years of training. Years of scanning through magazines, watching telly, gazing in awe at celebrities and models showing me how I could look with effort. How I should look in fact. How on earth do you change that?

The answer is slowly. But it is possible. Here are my suggestions to help

Surround yourself with the people you love, that love you. Get rid of the competitors, the judgers, the energy drainers, the back stabbers. You'll be left with folk that don't give a f**k about how you look, they just want to see you happy

Stop comparing yourself to others, it won't help. Besides, how much do you really know about them? Sure you might think they look amazing, but nobody's life is perfect so concentrate on YOU

Be real. These images of 'beautiful' women that the media force feed us with are heavily staged and massively retouched. NOBODY looks their best all the time, it's not sustainable. And if they do, what happened to the rest of their life??!! Boring

Be kind to yourself. In fact be kind to everyone and everything! Look up at the clouds, read a book, listen to the birds, start a hobby, study the eyes of the one you love. Seriously, we only get one shot on this planet and when you start to enjoy it, the things that usually bother you fade away

Be an example. I'm sure most of us have another person in our life that we influence, be it kids, sisters, friends... Make sure that you are responsible with your attitude to your own image and that of others so that we can stop the culture of body shaming now

Start taking small steps today. How you look doesn't matter, it's about that twinkle in your eye. Listen to your favourite album and smile - it's far more attractive than a tonne of makeup

I have three more recommendations for you. Check out Constance Hall This woman is a QUEEN, she'll make you feel normal and become fabulous. I've pre ordered the book! Also take a look at Celetse Barber a comic genius who frequently micky takes celeb Instagram shots. Finally, have a watch of this film trailer, Embrace It's about a woman's journey to embrace her body and inspire others, out on August 4th

That's it. I really must go and crack on with Mummy and housewife duties and maybe I'll be a minx later. It's certainly more likely now that I'm learning to love my body

Be happy peeps. I hope this goes some way in brightening your day. Remember how beautiful you are and let go of the rest
​
​xx Sarah