Your Kinky Bucket List: 10 Things to Try Tonight By Simone Worthington
You have tried the sex in every room of the house, watching porn together and sexting, and now you want more: Edgier! Harder! Kinkier! Forget gifts like chocolate and even sex toys. Instead, set aside your judgments and come over to the freak side; we don’t have cookies, but we have lots of fun! Here are the top 10 activities to help you get your kink on.
Spanking. Go ahead! Smack that ass! Or bend over and feel the sweet sting of your partner’s hand. One great trick is to be light and sensual with some caressing in between slaps. Hands work great to begin with. Start out with light smacks and increase the force to increase the sensation. Warm up that lovely bottom before going full force on it. For those who seek heavier pain, a paddle or strap can be used. (Get more tips in Your Hand, My Ass: Erotic Spanking Tips for Two.)
Role-Play Think back to when you were a kid and the games you played, such as cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians. Bring this imagination into your sexual encounters as an adult by engaging in some role-play. Be a naughty student who gets taken to the principle’s office. Go see the doctor for an exam. Play boss and secretary. No matter what you choose, role-play is a fun way to start experimenting with being in a different head space. Just think: We can now play pretend and have orgasms!
Temperature Play Ice cubes, warm water, candle wax; sensually caressing one another’s body with anything that can change the skin temperature can certainly heat things up. Ice to nipples followed by a warm tongue can heighten arousal. Or try dripping warm wax slowly over your partner's skin, then peeling it off sensuously after it cools. Safety comes first, so do your homework to make sure you know how to do temperature play safely.
Bondage Rope, handcuffs, collar, oh my! With such a variety to choose from, it can be daunting to know where to start. Best advice: start simple. Add a pair of furry handcuffs to one encounter. Grab a scarf and tie your partner's wrists together, or to the bedposts. Experiment with different ways of tying each other up to discover what works best for you - and what turns you on the most!
Flogging This activity can be quite intimidating to those taking a step into BDSM. Visions of slaves whipped to blood like in the movies is what often comes to mind. However, flogging (not whipping) can be an extremely sensual (and painless) activity. Choose a flogger made of a soft material to begin. You can even start with a rabbit fur one for comfort. The primary goal is to caress your partner's skin to heighten sensations.
Worship Love a particular area of your partner’s body? Then spend some extra time lavishing attention on it. Do not hurry to get to the end result of sex. Revel in the erogenous zones of the part of your lover you are worshiping. Go slowly up and down each ear if that is what keeps the juices flowing. If you love breasts, spend an hour massaging them with oil. Feet? Kiss and suck those toes! Whatever area turns you on, take the time to shower it with an extra bit of attention. Your partner will love it too!
Fetishism This is huge area and it's open to just about anything and everything. The only rules are consent and safety (and legality, but we hope that one's obvious). If you like high heels, leather, latex, silk, girdles, fur, or spandex - the list is endless - now is the chance to play with it. Put on your sexiest heels and have sex just in them. Have a thing for lace? Buy those sexy panties and tease your partner by allowing a brief peek while in the car together. Blindfold each other and use the fetish of your choice all over each other. Bring in whatever material or article turns you and your partner on. (Leather is a common fetish. Find out why in Why Leather Belongs In the Fetish Hall of Fame.)
Gender Play Exchange roles for a day. If you are usually femme, take on the masculine role. Gender play can include cross-dressing and feminization. Add a little bit of role-play in where gender roles are reversed. Wear the opposite gender clothing for fun. Do a strip tease in a suit with feminine lingerie underneath. Fluidity is the key to many kinks and engaging in gender play can provide a better understanding of pushing one’s boundaries. Do respect each other’s desires and identity in this area though.
Compression This activity refers to anything that squeezes or pinches. Many new kinksters start with clothespins or clamps on sensitive bits. Grab a pair of household clothespins and experiment with placing them on each other. Nipples, cocks, and ears all respond well to compression. Squeeze a little nipple when engaged in foreplay, and then lick it softly. Place clothespins on each other in sensitive areas; let them intensify for a while and then slowly remove them, all the while kissing the sensitive area.
Food Play A little dab will do you, honey! Drizzle honey or chocolate sauce on your partner’s body and lick it off. Place it in strategic places then nibble away. Dip your toes in champagne and have it sucked off. We have all seen the endless varieties of playful food play on TV and in movies. Come up with your own creative implementation of this fun kink. Food play, or sploshing, can be messy so be prepared to clean up afterward. Also, keep in mind that most foods, especially raw meat or foods that contain sugar, should not be inserted into a body. (Get more tips in How Do I introduce Bondage In The Bedroom.)
But Before You Get Kinky ...Remember that in all sexual encounters, mutual respect should be present. If someone is uncomfortable, do not force. No means no. When engaging in kink, use a safeword. This is a single word that can be uttered when one partner's had enough and wants play to stop. Red is commonly known within the BDSM community as a stop word, however you can use whatever word works for you. It should be easy to remember. You should also do your homework before engaging in a new activity, including learning about how to play safe. After that, kink is all about fun. It's a way for adults to play, so indulge in a few bucket list items. And enjoy!
#Long Live Love
Team Sinsins x
y Kinkly Staff, June 11, 2015
Source: Mauricio Jordan De Souza Coelho/ Dreamstime.com
People often have questions about sex and disability. Those questions and inexperience often lead to a presumptions that just are not true. Below is an excerpt from The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability. This will help you understand the 13 most common myths related to this subject.
Myth #1: People with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses are Not Sexual Once or twice a year, a journalist "discovers" the idea of sexuality and disability and decides it will make a great human interest story. Other than this, we rarely find media depictions of people living with disabilities or chronic illnesses as people who have sex lives. If we do, it is usually presented as a rare and incredible thing.
We think this happens for two reasons. First, there is a belief held by many nondisabled people that they will never become disabled. By distancing themselves from all things related to disability, they manage to stay in denial. Second, there is the fact that many nondisabled people view people living with disabilities as essentially different from them. They think disabled people are helpless (because many may need help). Therefore, those who are disabled are like children and are not acknowledged as sexual beings. You may have sixty years’ worth of life experience with the body, brain, temperament, and libido of an adult. However, if you can’t feed yourself, need help wiping your ass, or getting in and out of the car then you are considered a child. Thus, sexuality for the disabled person is often denied.
In North American culture, self-sufficiency is highly prized. It is defined as the ability to do everything for yourself—and still have energy left over to help those poor unfortunates who are not as self-sufficient as you! It is not defined as the ability to work creatively and cooperatively with others.
Myth #2: People with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses are Not Desirable We’ve all been fed the message that sex is for the young and beautiful. If you don’t resemble a 23 year old supermodel, no one will want you. Likewise, if you cannot produce multiple G-spot orgasms on cue or perform like a stud, you’re not worth going to bed with. Even worse is the notion that if you require some help with assistive devices or if you need a little extra patience, communication, and emotional support before you can enjoy giving and receiving sexual pleasure, you’re a burden. Who would want you? This standard exists for everyone regardless of whether or not they have a disability and it harms us all.
Myth #3: Sex Must Be Spontaneous We’re taught that sex is supposed to be spontaneous; it is something that just comes naturally (like "true love"). This is another belief that is damaging to everyone. This belief presents an even bigger problem for people living with disabilities because any amount of planning makes sex not spontaneous. Believing in this myth pretty much ensures a lousy sex life.Sex has many meanings. At its heart, sex is a process of communication. Whether we are flirting from across a crowded room, giving someone head for the first time, or making love while listening to a piece of music that totally turns us on the act of being sexual is about contact with ourselves and our surroundings. The idea that this process can happen without thinking, talking, or planning is ridiculous.Maybe we are willing to buy into the myth of sexual spontaneity because talking about our desires is difficult. It’s risky and it makes us feel exposed and vulnerable. Often, vulnerability is equated with weakness.
Myth #4: People with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses Can’t Have "Real" Sex Watch any one of the thousands of mainstream porn films (or even regular films with sex scenes) released each year and you’ll get some idea of how sex is "supposed" to work. "Real" sex progresses from light activities like kissing to the "real" thing, penis-in-vagina intercourse, and simultaneous orgasms in 10 minutes or less. You should also be able to have sex in a variety of different positions all in the same night. Everything we do sexually is supposed to progress toward that goal, and none of it is as important as the result itself. Thus, "foreplay" is nothing more than a prelude to the main event. Oral sex is hot, but it’s still not as good as the "real" thing.
According to this way of thinking, masturbation doesn’t count as sex. Only people who can’t get laid masturbate. Of course, studies (not to mention our own experience) tell us this is not true. People of all genders and sexual orientations masturbate regardless of relationship status! Some of us even masturbate with our partners. Most of us were raised with at least a few negative messages about pleasing ourselves sexually. One message is that orgasms experienced alone aren’t as fulfilling as those had with a partner. Unfortunately, the taboo against self-pleasure is deeply ingrained in us. This taboo flares to a fevered pitch if someone needs help to get off on his or her own.
So, only intercourse leading to orgasm is considered "real sex." Within that idea lies a belief that no one living with a disability is capable of having intercourse. The truth is that the majority of people with a disability can have intercourse. Those who can’t, or choose not to, can still have real sex.
Myth #5: People with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses are Pathetic Choices for Partners This myth reveals a deep bias. If you live with a disability or chronic illness, you must be a pitiable creature. Additionally, if someone feels so poorly about you, then you must feel worse about yourself. Why would someone want to choose a lover with such a lousy self-image?
The even more dangerous underlying idea is that if you live with a disability, whatever you happen to feel about yourself or think about the world on a particular day must be related to your disability. If you’re a real complainer who likes to kvetch and make everyone’s life miserable, it surely must be because you have a disability. On the other hand, if you are always cheerful and look on the positive side of things, that too must be indicative of what a trooper you are. After all, you're happy in spite of living such a terrible existence. Of course, we all have good days and bad days. However, when you live with a visible disability or chronic illness, whatever you are on a given day is believed to be a result of your condition.
Related to this is the deeply disturbing idea that living with a disability is a life not worth living. We’re taught to feel sorry for anyone who cannot achieve "good" health. Basically, that is the absence of any condition that makes you different from anyone else. If we believe that people who live with disabilities are helpless, powerless, and dealing with unnatural burdens then few options are open to those with disability. None of the options involve being in a satisfying sexual relationship.
Myth #6: People with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses Have More Important Things Than Sex to Worry about Who says sex isn’t important? Well, just about everyone in a position to teach us about sex manages to subtly convey the message that sex is a frivolous indulgence. It is certainly not something responsible citizens need unless we’re talking about the serious business of procreation.
The point is made again and again that if you live with a disability or chronic illness, you’ve got more important things to deal with besides sex. Sex is a luxury you simply can’t afford. This is also tied into the idea that people living with disabilities are childlike and need to be told how to prioritize their lives. Many nondisabled people hold this attitude, and even certain disability-rights activists claim that talking about our individual issues is bad because it "fragments the cause."
Myth #7 and Myth #8: People with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses Are Not Sexually Adventurous or They Are Perverts These myths are two sides of the same coin. On one side, if you live with a disability, it is assumed that you are passive. This assumption is generalized to all areas in life. It is taken for granted that people living with disabilities are sexually passive and not initiators. People can’t imagine that someone who uses a wheelchair might want to be tied up and spanked or that a man with no legs gets off dressing up as a ballerina. A second layer of meaning related to this myth is the idea that all anyone wants is to be just like everyone else. So, to those seen as different in some major way, it is particularly important that they pass as "normal." We all know that "normal" people don’t like to dress up or get spanked, right?
The "pervert" myth is the other side of the coin. It paints a picture of the dirty old man with the cane who eyes all the young, nubile people in the park. Ageism and disability often go hand in hand in a way that marginalizes people. Underlying both of these myths is the notion that people living with disabilities and chronic illnesses are "other" and that for them to have any interest in sex is perverted.
Myth #9: We All Get What We Deserve. We Can Always Do More to Help Ourselves Whether we believe in karma or a simple do-unto-others philosophy for daily living, most of us are taught to believe that good things will happen to good people and that bad things happen to bad people. Thus, it follows that if you have HIV, use a wheelchair, or have trouble breathing then it's because bad things happen to bad people.
So, if we are experiencing too much pain to enjoy sex, there must be a reason. This irritating message often comes in the form of well-meaning suggestions from friends and family about doctors, chiropractors, naturopaths, herbalists, massage therapists, talk therapists, and other specialists. Maybe we should try this or that and then we’ll be better or perhaps even OK. This is no different from the habit most of us have of blaming the victim by wondering or overtly asking "Are you really doing enough to change your situation?"
The reality is that no matter how much we love ourselves and no matter how skilled we become at negotiating the particulars of our self-care, some of us experience physical pain that won’t go away. That pain becomes a fact of our lives. With life often comes pain—as unacceptable as this idea is to many people.
Myth #10: People Living in Institutions Shouldn’t Have Sex One of the greatest barriers many people living with disabilities face when trying to develop a positive sexuality is a lack of privacy. Nowhere is this more evident than in institutions like rehab hospitals, hospices, group homes, and nursing homes. Most such institutions systematically deny residents the right to be sexual whether alone or with others. There are no locks on doors and no privacy. The right of staff to treat people as objects to be carted around, talked about in the third person even in their presence, and controlled are just a few of the ways that institutions make it clear that sexuality is not acceptable for its inhabitants. The underlying belief is that people’s behaviors must be monitored because they are incapable of monitoring themselves.
This leads us to the next myth.
Myth #11: Sex Is Private If we were taught anything about sex at all when we were younger, many of us learned that sex is something private and that it is inappropriate to talk about it or do in front of others. Privacy becomes a requirement for sexuality.
For someone living in an institution, using attendant services, or needing the assistance of someone else to facilitate communication, privacy is a completely different reality. The definition of privacy changes when you have no lock on your door or when you request private time at a specific hour knowing that it will probably be written down in a log-book. This myth is one of those "no-win situations" because we’re told that real sex is a private matter and, guess what, you can’t have that kind of privacy.
Myth #12: People with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses Don’t Get Sexually Assaulted If you aren’t seen as sexually desirable in our culture, you won’t get sexually assaulted, right? Wrong. People who live with physical disabilities are far more likely to be victims of sexual assault than those who don’t live with physical disabilities. Some statistics suggest that people living with disabilities are two to ten times more likely to be assaulted than those who do not have disabilities.
This abuse ranges from pervasive power abuses by medical and rehabilitation staff to rape and other forms of sexual assault, forced confinement, physical abuse, and more. Supports for disclosure of the abuse, legal action, and counseling are scarce for people living with disabilities. This is especially true in institutions that maintain a culture of secrecy and keeping things private, which in turn allows more opportunities for other forms of abuse.
This myth sets up one of the most horrific, self-perpetuating cycles: If you are not at risk, why bother creating programs for prevention and support? This attitude places you at greater risk, and the cycle continues.
Myth #13: People with Disabilities and Chronic Illnesses Don’t Need Sex Education The false beliefs outlined tend to build on each other. So, if people with disabilities aren’t considered sexual, then there is no reason for sex education. Sexual ignorance is an enormous obstacle for anyone who is trying to figure themselves out sexually. The situation is made worse when people are systematically denied access to the little bit of sex education that most people receive.
Another layer of this idea is the belief that if you tell someone about sex, they will immediately become fucking machines. Few things scare the nondisabled public more than the idea of people living with disabilities reproducing. This is especially true for people who live with intellectual and developmental disabilities. For those living with other types of disabilities, there are huge obstacles to having children. Part of what motivates people to deny sex education programs to people living with disabilities is the perception that such programs will open up a can of worms which the non disabled professionals will "have to deal with" because those living with disabilities will be incapable of handling it responsibly and it will become someone else’s problem.
Give us your thoughts...
Talking to Your Kids About Sex: How to Get Started By Lauren Katulka
We love dishing the dirt on our sex lives with our gal pals over cocktails. And no detail is ever spared in the men’s locker room. Yet many of us clam up about the topic when it’s broached over the kitchen table. Talking to children about sex is rarely easy, but don't be in denial: Seven out of 10 adolescents lose their virginity before the end of their teen years. What that means for parents is that educating kids about sex is essential, both for the health of their bodies, and their sexual relationships. So how can you navigate the topic without a red face or stories about storks? Here are some basic guidelines from experts in the field.
Clearing the Air First, let’s clear up some misconceptions. Talking about sex with children won’t psychologically scar them, or make them promiscuous. As the "Why We Need Sex Ed" infographic we posted shows, American states with comprehensive sex education programs actually have the lowest rates of teen pregnancy. In addition, the National Campaign to End Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy claims that children who learn about sex are more likely to lose their virginity later, have fewer sexual partners, and use condoms and other forms of contraception than their less savvy peers.
Think your kids don't want to talk to you about it? Think again. According to a 2012 telephone survey of teens conducted by Social Science Research Solutions, many teens cite their parents as their greatest influence when it comes to making decisions about sex.
So how should parents talk to their children about sex? When comes to getting down to the down and dirty, an age-appropriate approach is important. Discussions about sexuality should touch on more than just sex. The body, puberty, different types of relationships, sexually transmitted diseases and contraceptives are all important topics to cover as your children age. Just remember that you have time, so don’t try to address too many topics at once or give too many details in the first chat.
Discussions about sex should be factual and should reflect your own beliefs and values. That said, it’s important to note that your children may not share your opinions. Listen to your children and learn about their thoughts, even if you don’t agree with them. Respecting their differences will ensure the dialog stays open, despite any conflicting views.
Those early conversations may well be awkward (younger children in particular are expert at finding the questions you are most uncomfortable about answering). It'll teach you a lot about what makes you uncomfortable about the topic of sex - which means it isn't just your kids who stand to learn a thing or two!
If you find it difficult to initiate a talk about sex, look for teachable moments in everyday life, and always be open to answering questions when they arise. Being honest about any feelings of embarrassment can also help relieve the tension, especially when it comes to teenagers.
Finally, if you're embarrassed about talking to your kids, ask yourself why that is - and why you feel that way. The more comfortable you become, the more comfortable your child will be. This is important, as they should know they can ask anything without embarrassment or, most importantly, judgment.
Sex Talk by the Numbers2-6 years: In these early years, children are discovering their own bodies and the differences between them. Resist the temptation to use pet names; using the correct terms will help children feel comfortable with them early. Note the differences between the bodies of boys and girls. As children age, you should also introduce the idea of public and private body parts.
Young children also often ask how babies are made, particularly if there is a pregnancy in your family. A simple explanation about a daddy’s sperm or seed watering the egg in a mommy’s tummy is generally sufficient at this age.
7-12 years: As children approach puberty, it’s important for parents to prepare them for the road ahead. It’s appropriate to talk to children of any gender about changes from pubic hair to periods. A discussion about masturbation is also important as children begin to explore their own bodies.
Children will want to learn more about sex at this age, as well as other topical issues such as the AIDS virus and sexuality. They are also likely to be interested in dating and how people fall in love. This is a great time to share some of your own stories. They will go a lot further toward making your kids think than speaking in general, hypothetical terms.
13-18 years: As hormones race, discussions about sex should shift from mere mechanics to the moral and emotional components of sexuality. Your children should learn about healthy and unhealthy relationships, sexual and otherwise. You should also try to make an impression on children about how they should treat their partners, and how they should expect to be treated in return.
It’s also a time for reinforcing messages about contraception and busting sexual myths. Teens tend not to want to talk about sex with their parents, but squeeze in what you can. You don’t want your kid thinking girls can’t get pregnant when they lose their virginity, or if they have sex standing up! Of course pregnancies and STDs aren’t the only consequences of sex. Discussing the feelings surrounding sexual intercourse and the right and wrong reasons to become sexually active is also important.
Did I Tell You the Story About the Birds and the Bees ...When it comes to talking to children about sex, let your own children’s maturity levels and the questions they ask steer your conversations. Talking about sex with kids can be hard, so work on creating an open dialog about sex in the home. While it’s best to start this conversation early, it’s never too late to start talking.
Team Sinsins x
Written and credited to Walker Thornton
Aging and menopause make us targets for false advertising and fear tactics. Wouldn’t we be better off not listening and adopting a positive approach to these natural transitions? I’m sharing an article I wrote for Midlife Boulevard this week, about all the negative messages we hear about aging and menopause. When’s the last time you heard someone say something positive about this? I know that menopause can be difficult for some women, let’s not discount that, but….
Stop the Negative Thoughts About Aging and Menopause. What would happen if we paid more attention to the positive news about aging, menopause and sexuality? First you’d have to search around to find those headlines. Most of what we read about sex after a certain age is primarily negative. It’s sort of a doom and gloom picture. The newest pharmaceutical ads on television depict sex after menopause as painful. The prominent headlines and blog posts talk about how awful sex is for older women. I hear from women all the time who think sex is no longer worth it—and I wonder what’s behind those statements. It’s hard to feel vibrant, sexual, or even relevant, as an older woman if all you hear are negative messages.
As a society, we thrive on the negative. Those stories get top billing. Feel-good stories rarely open the nightly news. There is little money to be made in telling sweet, warm and positive stories.
The aging of the boomer generation has spawned a marketing frenzy as everyone tries to capitalize on our fears about growing old. The drug companies and the cosmetics industry are the worst. The goal is to make us feel scared, inadequate, inconsequential and a little depressed. They create messages designed to fuel our insecurities. We buy into those negative messages and feel bad about ourselves.
It saddens and angers me when I see scare tactics used on aging women. Menopause gets the most attention.I see it every time I turn on cable television or look at a women’s magazine. I see it in my Facebook groups when women start sharing their horror stories to someone who is entering the perimenopausal phase.
Yes, menopause can create havoc for some women. Many of us handle this change of life easily. My transition was mild. I wasn’t chatting with others going through menopause so I wasn’t hearing all the terrible things I should expect. No one was wagging a finger in my face telling me I’d become a desert ‘down there’ and would never want sex again. Maybe the absence of all that negative chatter allowed me to enter that phase naturally and without fear? I’ve handled crises far worse than hot flashes and night sweats. Haven’t most of us?
Much of how we approach life depends on our emotional makeup. Do we fear the worst or laugh in the face of danger? Do we approach things with dread and anticipation or are we open to experiencing life fully, taking it all in stride? Practicing positive thinking, gratitude journals or rituals, and living intentionally can be useful tools for coping with concerns about aging and menopause.
When we buy into certain stories and beliefs we tend to shape our lives to mesh with those beliefs. Even when it doesn’t fit our reality. And, it’s so simple to talk ourselves into a negative place. Let’s remember that we have choices about everything we approach in life.
So the next time someone finds out you’re menopausal and starts going on about dryness or painful sex, debilitating hot flashes, moods, etc. think about what these ‘truths’.
This all sounds simple enough and yet, it’s not. If you want to change your approach to aging you will have to shut out those voices. You will need to get up each day remembering the good in your life, your purpose and the dreams you’re constantly creating. This isn’t the end of the road—we’ve got a ways to go yet.
Stop the Negative Thoughts About Aging and Menopause first appeared at Midlife Boulevard.
By Sophie Lizard, June 26, 2015 courtesy of Kinkly.com
You'll go blind, lose your strength, or grow hair on the palms of your hands. Those are just a few of the myths people used to tell about masturbation and health. Of course, most of us don't need medical science to tell us those just aren't true. What science does say about masturbation, however, is that it has a whole bunch of benefits for both men and women. Here's how a little self play can keep the doctor away.
The Benefits Are Nothing New. Got your masturbation prescription? Despite all the admonitions against it, it seems that doctors knew that a little five-finger fun was good for our health ... or at least women's health. In the 19th century and earlier, women could visit the doctor or midwife for a nice, relaxing genital stimulation session to treat their "hysteria". And we should be thankful, because that era led to a lot of developments in vibrator technology to save those poor doctors from repetitive strain injury! (Read more about the history of vibrators in Vibrators: Bigger and Generating More Buzz Than Ever.)
It's Good for Your Body. Whether you’re male or female, masturbation is a fun way to stay in shape. It keeps your pelvic muscles in good condition, which in turn helps you avoid incontinence as well as enjoy more powerful orgasms. (Learn more about the importance of the pelvic muscles in For Better Orgasms, Flex This Muscle.)For men, regular masturbation can make for stronger erections, and may help prevent prostate cancer. For women, it can alleviate menstrual cramps and speed up recovery from urinary tract infections.
Paying yourself some sexual attention also helps to boost your immune system and keeps you in good physical shape. It’s a form of exercise! Plus, the muscle relaxation you feel after an orgasm can help with short-term aches and pains, while the longer-term benefits include lowering your heart rate and blood pressure.
Masturbation and orgasm both burn calories, and the phenethylamine that floods into your bloodstream when you orgasm is an appetite suppressant, so it can even help you stay slim.
"The Masturbation Diet" - now there's a plan more people would be likely to stick to!
It’s Good for Your Brain. Can’t sleep? Start playing. Putting in a little selfy time not only relaxes your muscles and warms your body, it also sparks the release of your nervous system's happy chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. That means it’s a great natural way to beat insomnia - and get your beauty sleep.
If you’re feeling stressed or depressed, some self-love might be just what the doctor ordered. Along with the mood-boosting effects of dopamine and oxytocin, the endorphins you release when you orgasm help to fight depression and anxiety.
It’s Definitely Good for Your Sex Life. You’re here because you care about your sex life, right? Well, you’ll be pleased to know that masturbation increases your orgasmic potential and actually makes you more attractive! Some of that attraction is hormonal, but the circulation boost you get when you masturbate will also give your skin a natural, healthy glow. In other words, it'll make you look awesome. Of course, that big smile on your face helps too.
For men, regular masturbation helps maintain a healthy hard-on and can even help men learn to prolong sex (something ladies really appreciate).
For women, masturbation makes orgasmic sex more achievable and boosts body confidence. The Journal of the American Medical Association reports that 43 percent of American women experience some degree of sexual dysfunction. When you look at it that way, it’s a tragedy that more women aren't discovering and experimenting with their bodies. (Read more about how masturbation can help sexual response in 10 Things You Don't Know About Self Love.)
The Bottom Line on the Big M. The idea of touching ourselves carries a lot of baggage. Maybe some people have told you it's harmful, or shameful or just plain wrong. Science says the opposite. It's good for your body, your brain and your sex life and it's side effect free. If there was a pill that could do all that we'd all be buying it. The good news is, you don't even have to.
If you need a little inspiration with self pleasure toys to choose from, head on over to the Ladies section and pick up one of our newest pleasure products.
Team Sinsins x
We aren't perfect, our bodies aren't perfect. And I think it’s a shame that so many men get shamed and rejected because they come and are done as soon as the party is just getting started.
Premature ejaculation is something that occurs in 30% of men, and there are ways to put off climaxing too early.
In Anticipation of a New Partner or if it’s Been a Long Time Since You’ve Had Sex
It’s tough to contain your arousal and excitement when the sexual chemistry between you and a new partner is strong or if there’s a lot of sexual tension and anticipation that’s been building up for days or weeks.
Do some controlled masturbation for a few days before the big event. Take time visualizing what you would like to take place when you’re with your partner to every last detail from foreplay to climax. Masturbate in a dark, quiet, and relaxing place. Turn off the TV, especially if porn is on the tube. If you like music, keep it slow and soft in the background. Breathe slowly and deeply; think of breathing as a metronome for your penis as well as the rest of your body. Make this kind of masturbation a meditative experience.
Slow Down Your Masturbation Routine
Often times, premature ejaculation comes from being in the habit of masturbating too quickly. A lot of men get into this habit over many years by trying to get off before Mom, a roommate, or kids walk into a room. Find a time and a place when you can have some alone time. Get a lock for your bedroom door if you don’t have one. If you live with other people in your house, tell them that you need a short nap and don’t want to be disturbed. Follow the masturbation tips above.
Partner Up with Your Partner
Identify the triggers that make you come too quickly and discuss them with your partner before you have sex. If you feel an urge to come, tell your partner to stop, slow down, or do something else. Incorporate some foreplay techniques that aren’t focused on or avoid contact with the penis like tantric massage. This will take some practice, but over time, you’ll get adjusted to a new rhythm and find some other fun things to bring into your sex routine.
Use what your dentist uses to numb your gums, lidocaine. Lidocaine (and sometimes benzocaine) is the main ingredient in desensitizing sprays and lubes. Spray a tiny bit on the head and main vein of the penis before getting your sexy time on. Make sure the liquid is fully absorbed into your skin before penetrating your partner. Also make sure you don't use too much! In our experience, only one or two sprays should be enough...
Check to see if your desensitizing spray is condom safe. They usually are. If you feel burning or stinging on your penis, don’t use it.
If you wear condoms, there are condoms with benzocaine inside of them so that the active ingredient won’t transfer to your partner.
If you don’t want a condom with benzocaine, wear a thicker condom to curb an overly sensitive penis. They’re usually labeled “extra strength”. Never double up on condoms to make up the difference. It’s not the kind of friction you want in your sexual experience.
Talk to Your Doc
If any of these tips don’t work, talk to your doctor. He or she may be able to identify a treatable ailment that’s getting in the way of the quality of your erections. There’s also some thought that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressants like Prozac and Zoloft can be used to treat premature ejaculation.
We found the above article on A Good Womans Dirty Mind blog - one of the many new sites that we highly recommend for a classy bedtime read! Have a chat with us if you are affected by premature ejaculation and feel happy to talk. We make no claims to be miracle doctors, however many years in this industry gives us an insight into what works and what doesn't. Don't forget Martin regularly takes referrals from health clinics, doctors and hospitals bases on his no BS, experienced approach
Good luck and best wishes
Team Sinsins x
With only 4 weeks left to go until this year's #Summer #Fayre, plans are underway down at St Johns #Maddermarket end of the Lanes to make this a bumper year!
As soon as we have finalised plans, we'll give you more info about what we're up to. But expect the usual fabulousness that we usually offer... with added sparkle!
Put the date in your diary and spread the word with your friends and family please
#NotLongToGo #HaveFunInTheSun #MaddermarketRocks
LONG LIVE LOVE
Team Sinsins xx